i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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