how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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