She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize