My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
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Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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