The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize