my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize