I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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