We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What a dumb baby whore.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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