Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
