so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
