I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
