you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
