If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
