Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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