do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
