The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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