lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
