she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
