haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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