she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
