is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
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The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
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My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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