Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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