No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
