I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
