somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize