why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
