When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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