You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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