AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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