Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The beers last night were like the tears from god
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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