you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
