so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
