I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
