Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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