He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
A bitchslap is in order.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
