I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
