I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
