ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
