I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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