He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
