I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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