I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
this hospital has no fireball
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
