butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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