what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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