Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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