I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I didn't notice because vodka
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
