We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
