That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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