Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
