He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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