Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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