I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
