Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
