I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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