I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
