And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize