This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
tell me about the eggs
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