God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
