Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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