RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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