I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I need a hoe opinion
go on
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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