mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
