I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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