Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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